BANGKOK — In one corner: the unpredictable dictator, the third-generation family ruler whose nation has a seven-decade reputation of being erratic, quick to take umbrage and insistent that it is powerful enough to upend the planet. In the other corner: a sandpaper-tongued American president like no other, barely past his first 100 days as leader of the free world, liable to say just about anything — including a handful of conciliatory words at the most unexpected of moments.

On Monday, those conciliatory words from the mouth of Donald Trump included some extraordinary ones about North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, long an object of American scorn and suspicion.

There were these words from Trump: “Obviously, he’s a pretty smart cookie.”

And, even more so, there were these: “If it would be appropriate for me to meet with him,” Trump told Bloomberg News, “I would absolutely, I would be honored to do it.”

Wow, says an astonished world: What if?

In the annals of diplomatic history, such a tete-a-tete, unlikely as it is, would tumble into a category that offers few possible comparisons.

There are the ones that never happened — Roosevelt sitting down with Hitler during World War II, George Bush (whichever one) facing Saddam Hussein while in office. And there are those that did: Kennedy meeting Khrushchev in Vienna, Nixon arriving in Beijing at the dawn of the U.S.-China thaw and immediately heading to a meeting with Mao.

Even those, however, were before many things we take for granted today — perhaps most notably the internet, live television and the instantaneous social-media pipelines that Trump knows and uses so fluidly.

The notion of a substantive sit-down between two of the most gazed-upon figures of this moment in the planet’s history is a staggering prospect — and a potential logistical nightmare if the two countries ever tried to make it happen.

Presuming that such a trial balloon is to be taken seriously, what, in fact, would it take to pull off? The loose contours of it could play out as follows:

THE VENUE

Possible locations could include the DMZ, which would be about as cinematic a piece of drama as human geopolitics could offer up, with a room featuring negotiation tables that sit halfway in the North and halfway in the South.

The benefit of this location would be the presence of existing security. It’s already the nucleus of one of the most tense patches of the planet, and it’s effectively already wired for such an event. Somewhere in China would be a possible, though highly unlikely, location as well.

But could it be elsewhere? Perhaps famously neutral Switzerland, where the now-infrequent world traveler Kim Jong Un almost certainly spent part of his upbringing attending school? Could it possibly even be the White House, where Trump has already caused uproars by hosting the president of Egypt and by calling the president of Turkey, both perceived in the West as hardly the most robust upholders of American values. That would be highly controversial and even more unlikely — just getting Kim a visa would be an interesting proposition — but stranger things have happened.

Or perhaps, gaming it out, things might take place in an unexpected or even unknown place. In 1989, George H.W. Bush and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev met on a ship off Malta to discuss the changes taking place in the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, and it propelled the tiny Mediterranean island into notoriety for several years. Malta was itself a follow-up in some ways to the fabled Yalta conference, in which Roosevelt, Winston Churchill and Joseph Stalin met in Crimea in early 1945 to plot out Europe’s postwar configurations.

The United States has been the site of such sensitive meetings, too, with Camp David being the most notable locale for its Carter-administration peace talks between Israel’s Menachem Begin and Egypt’s Anwar Sadat. The history of such things is lengthy; in 1905, Theodore Roosevelt helped broker peace between the warring nations of Japan and Russia in the unlikely locale of a small New England town. More recently, the unlikely venue of Dayton, Ohio, became the site in 1995 of peace accords to end the Bosnian war. But those were other nations in conflict, not the United States itself.

And what about Pyongyang? There would be precedent for that — from U.S. envoys like Madeleine Albright to a previous Japanese prime minister to faded basketball star Dennis Rodman — and the Kims are not known for their love of foreign travel, which carries them away from turf and situations they can completely control.

Whatever the case, barring it taking place at the DMZ, such a high-stakes, high-security Trump-Kim meeting would change a place for a long time, if not forever.

THE TOPICS

Nuclear disarmament — North Korea’s — would be first on the table. You’d think. But with two such unpredictable rulers, no one could be absolutely certain.

Given Trump’s style so far, time might be given to developing some sort of rapport between the two men before any negotiations began. But major topics would surely emerge before too long.

Among them: Aid to the North, which has played the brinkmanship game many times before with an eye toward getting assistance for its poor, sometimes hungry populace. Relations with the South. And weapons tests — missile and in particular nuclear, which make the United States and China, not to mention the South, very uncomfortable.

THE REACTION

The wildcards here would be South Korea, Russia, and, of course, China — the North’s patron for many decades and, of late, its increasingly wary and irritated neighbor.

In South Korea’s case, such a meeting would be an existential event. Most agree that Kim’s arsenal has enough accuracy and firepower to devastate the South, and so a meeting between the United States, South Korea’s military protector, and the North would have serious security implications for Seoul even if virtually nothing of substance was discussed.

China is wary of any U.S. involvement in its sphere of influence, and is already at odds with Washington about territorial claims in the South China Sea, while the perennial issue of Taiwan’s autonomy always lurks in the background. Beijing has courted South Korea in recent years more than before, with Chinese President Xi Jinping visiting Seoul in 2014 in what was seen as a hint to the North. (Recent Chinese trepidations over THAAD, the U.S.-made missile system being set up in South Korea, have restored some of the tension with Beijing.)

Against this backdrop, any Trump-Kim sit-down would, using conventional wisdom, have to involve China and the pressure it can exert on the North — something the Trump White House has always said was necessary. But protocol does not always seem to be the order of the day, as Trump’s unexpected, pre-inauguration call to Taiwan’s new president underscored.

Finally, Russia and its leader, Vladimir Putin, would watch from afar with great wariness and probable dismay. Such a meeting could alter Moscow’s relationships with both Beijing and Washington, and probably Pyongyang as well.

Oh, and let’s not forget the media reaction. Obviously any such meeting would be THE visual of the year for news organizations. Setting it up as a media event would draw hundreds if not thousands of news outlets. That would mean a major infrastructure setup that’s on par with a summit meeting of leaders or an Olympics.

THE ALLURE

Whatever the political implications, this much is certain: Any meeting with Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un, anywhere in the world, would be — if it ever actually happened — one of the most dramatic events of the 21st century thus far.

It would encompass three major global narratives at once: The United States under Donald Trump, and what his administration means; the Kim family and the unique, mercurial way they have ruled North Korea and projected themselves to the world; and the regional security and defense of East Asia, one of the most strategically pivotal regions in the world.

It would be big. It would be loud. It would be momentous, somewhat surreal and entirely unexpected. All things quite familiar to the worlds of two singular, bound-to-change-the-world men named Kim Jong Un and Donald J. Trump.

Then again, you might not want to hold your breath. This came in Tuesday afternoon from the official news agency for North Korea, which goes by the formal name Democratic People’s Republic of Korea: “The Trump administration that newly took office in the U.S. is provoking the DPRK with no reason, not knowing what rival it stands against.”

___

Ted Anthony, director of Asia-Pacific News for The Associated Press, is based in Bangkok, Thailand. He has covered Asia for nearly a decade over his career and traveled to North Korea six times since 2014. Follow him on Twitter at @anthonyted

Copyright 2017 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Lawmakers reached an agreement late Sunday on a broad spending package to fund the federal government through the end of the fiscal year in September, ending weeks of uncertainty. The House and Senate are expected to vote on the package early this week. The bipartisan agreement includes $12.5 billion in new military spending and $1.5 billion more for border security, a major priority for Republican leaders in Congress.

So, what’s in the agreement? We’ve sifted through the legislation, consulted supporting documents from Democratic and Republican aides, and called out some of the more notable and controversial elements below.

Please note: This is a fluid report that will be updated to add more detail or correct errors. What notable changes did we miss? What notable changes did you spot? Here’s a link to the 1,600-page bill that you can see for yourself. Contact us or share details in the comments section:

AIRPORT SECURITY:

The Transportation Security Administration would get $331 million in additional money to hire new officers and canine teams to speed up the screening process at airports and seaports.

And air travelers rejoice: Congress decided against enacting a plan that would require $880 million in passenger fee increases.

AMTRAK:

The nation’s passenger rail service, a quasi-government organization, gets $1.5 billion, a $105 million increase from the last budget year.

ARTS FUNDING:

Democrats are claiming a huge victory for the arts. They successfully blocked Trump’s request to cut funding to the National Endowments for the Arts and Humanities. Instead both agencies would see a funding increase of $2 million under this spending bill, bringing each budget to $150 million for fiscal 2017.

BORDER SECURITY:

Trump didn’t get the wall money he wanted but Republicans did get $1.5 billion to spend on repairs to existing border fencing and new technology, such as drones and sensors to help agents keep an eye on parts of the border not protected by barriers.

BUREAU OF LAND MANAGEMENT:

Gone are requests for fee increases for ranchers grazing on federal land and plans for increased oil and gas inspection fees. The BLM got $1.2 billion in the spending bill, an increase of $15 million over last year, including $9 million for the hotly-debated sage grouse conservation project and federal land preservation.

CAMPAIGN FINANCE:

Democrats say they used the spending bill to stave off attempts to end federal reporting of political contributions.

But there’s a ban on requiring government contracting firms to disclose political campaign contributions as a requirement for bidding for government work — ending an Obama-era push to do so.

And the bill bars the Securities and Exchange Commission from requiring the disclosure of political contributions, contributions to tax-exempt organizations or dues paid to trade associations — a loss for groups pushing for more disclosures of campaign contributions.

CDC:

The spending bill includes a modest $22 million increase for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and fully funds the Public Health Preparedness and Response programs, which are in charge of preparing for a bioterrorism attack or pandemic outbreak.

COAL MINERS:

One of the rare bipartisan wins in this bill is a permanent extension of health-care coverage for coal miners. The measure was a major priority for coal-state lawmakers, including Sen. Joe Manchin III (D-W.Va.) and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.).

COLLEGE TUITION GRANTS:

Pell Grants for college tuition would get a boost to help cover a student’s full year of college. The maximum award would be increased to $5,935, up from $5,775.

CUBA:

Headed to the island nation? Bring back as many cigars you’d like. Negotiators declined to include language barring Americans from bringing back merchandise from Cuba — an attempt to roll back the Obama administration’s renewal of diplomatic and trade relations with the communist country.
The bill also doesn’t include language barring air travel to Cuba, certain educational trips or barring American businesses from doing work with entities owned by Cuban officials or their families.

CUSTOMS AND BORDER PROTECTION:

Several agencies related to border security would get a boost for the remainder of fiscal 2017. CBP is slated to see a $137 million increase over last year’s funding level, bringing them to $11.4 billion. The money includes the full $772 million Trump requested for technology and repairs to existing infrastructure at the Southern border with Mexico.

DIRTY WATER:

The EPA program that helps communities clean up the water quality in their drinking supply is slated to remain fully funded at the previous year’s level. The agency was responsible for sending $100 million to help Flint, Mich., restore its drinking supply last year.

The Pentagon also gets $57 million for water quality testing projects at military bases.

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA:

The nation’s capital gets $756 million from the federal government — a $26 million increase from last year, but $7 million less than what the Obama administration had requested. The bill includes more money for security operations; $45 million for District school improvements; and the bill reauthorizes a scholarship program that helps low-income students attend private schools in the city.

The bill also bars federal funding from being used for abortion services or “to further marijuana legislation.” It also bars federal money from being used to fund a citywide needle exchange program.

EDUCATION DEPARTMENT:

This is one of the few departments to see their budget trimmed under the new spending bill. The $68 billion budget is $1.2 billion lower than the spending level enacted in 2016 and $2.3 billion lower than President Barack Obama proposed for this year. However, student academic support and special education both got modest boosts under the spending bill.

EMBASSY SECURITY:

There’s no change in spending to secure U.S. diplomatic outposts. Overall embassy security programs will cost $2.357 billion.

E-CIGARETTES:

The spending agreement requires FDA review of “e-cigarettes, little cigars, cigarillos, hookah” and all cigar products. Lawmakers from tobacco-producing states had been pushing to exempt thousands of e-cigarette flavors from federal review, according to congressional aides.

ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY:

So much for Trump’s pledge to make deep cuts to the EPA: The spending bill would maintain nearly 99 percent of the agency’s total budget. Still, Republicans are celebrating that the $8.06 billion EPA budget will force the agency to maintain low staffing levels. The spending bill also bans the EPA from cutting agricultural exemptions under the Clean Water Act and requires an update on plans to address the backlog of mining permits that have yet to be approved.

EXECUTIVE ORDERS:

There’s language in the bill requiring the Office of Management and Budget to detail “the expected costs of Executive Orders and Presidential Memorandums.” President Trump has signed 30 executive orders in the first 100 days of his presidency.

FEDERAL WORKER PAY AND PERKS:

The bill continues to bar federal funding for abortions as part of the federal Employee Health Benefits Program. The bill also authorizes a pay freeze for the vice president and other senior political appointees.

FOOD STAMPS:

Officially known as the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, the bill slashes funding by $2.4 billion compared with last year “reflecting declining enrollment,” according to Republicans. Overall, there’s $78.5 billion in required mandatory spending for the program and another $3 billion for the SNAP reserve fund that covers unexpected increases in enrollment.

GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABILITY:

There’s $13.5 million in spending increases for the Government Accountability Office to continue its investigative and oversight work across the three branches of government.

GUANTANAMO BAY:

As with previous spending agreements, the new legislation bars funding to “house, transfer, or release any Guantanamo Bay detainee.”

IMMIGRATION POLICY AND FUNDING:

Trump won only a small boost in funding for Immigration and Customs Enforcement, the main agency in charge of deportations and immigration monitoring. Republicans had hoped to fund a hiring spree for new ICE agents and the addition of tens of thousands of detention beds. Instead the spending bill includes money for 100 new officers and approximately 5,000 more beds.

But a $1.5 billion spending increase for the Justice Department will help pay for “short-term detention space” that Republicans say will help house undocumented immigrants and other federal offenders.

A $20 million increase for the Executive Office of Immigration Review will help pay for 10 more federal immigration judges. But the new funding also requires monthly reports to Congress on “immigration judge performance.”

IRS:

The nation’s tax enforcement agency gets $11.2 billion — freezing its funding in place. Money has been moved around so that there’s now an additional $290 million to improve customer service programs, including phone call wait times.

One of the most embattled agencies in recent years, the spending bill also includes language barring the use of money to pay bonuses or to rehire former employees unless their conduct and tax compliance is considered. The IRS also cannot use any money to produce “inappropriate videos or conferences” — a response to employee conferences and training videos that earned scrutiny for their cost and content. The IRS cannot audit an organization “based on their ideological beliefs,” but the White House is also barred from ordering the agency to determine an organization’s tax exempt status.

JUSTICE DEPARTMENT:

Overall, the department sees a $143 million spending cut, but its key agencies, the FBI, Drug Enforcement Administration and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms — all see eight-figure increases. There’s also more money for several of the department’s grant programs, including the Violence Against Women grants, the Byrne Justice Assistance Grants, and $22.5 million more to pay for police armored vests.

LIBRARY OF CONGRESS:

Its massive archive would get a $32 million funding boost, primarily to help pay for upgrades to data and computer support and updates to the copyright office.

MARIJUANA:

The spending bill bars the Justice Department from using any money to prevent local governments from “implementing their own laws that authorize the use, distribution, possession, or cultivation of medical marijuana.” This applies to states and the District of Columbia (see above).

METRORAIL:

The Washington area’s bus and subway system gets $150 million — equal to the amount it’s already receiving.

NATIONAL PARKS:

The National Park Service would be fully funded, including a modest bump of $81 million for park maintenance and projects related to the agency’s centennial celebration.

MILITARY CONTRACTS:

Here’s what the Pentagon will be able to spend: $21.2 billion to procure 13 Navy ships, including three DDG-51 guided missile destroyers and three Littoral Combat Ship. There’s also $8.2 billion for 74 F-35 aircraft; $1.1 billion for 14 F/A-18E/F Super Hornet aircraft; $1.2 billion for 62 UH-60 Blackhawk helicopters; $774 million for 52 remanufactured AH-64 Apache helicopters; $262 million for seven new Apaches; $72 million to spend on 10 more helicopters; $702 million for 145 Patriot MSE missiles; $275 million for 20 MQ-1 Gray Eagle unmanned aerial vehicles; $187 million for 28 Lakota light utility helicopters; $1.8 billion for 11 P-8A Poseidon aircraft; $2.6 billion for 15 KC-46 air tankers; and $1.3 billion for 17 C/HC/KC/MC-130J aircraft.

MILITARY PAY AND PERKS:

There’s a 2.1 percent pay raise for the troops. The new agreement does not make the cuts in troop strength proposed by the Obama administration.

The Defense Health Program gets $312 million to continue its cancer research, $125 million for traumatic brain injury and psychological health research and $296 million for sexual assault prevention and response programs — all above the Trump administration’s budget requests for the programs.

NATIONAL SCIENCE FOUNDATION (AND OTHER SCIENCE OFFICES):

The budget for the agency that funds basic research in science and engineering is almost dollar for dollar the same as last year. The NSF is allocated $7.47 billion — $6 billion of it for research and related activities.

The Office of Science and Technology Policy gets $5.6 million even though no one has been appointed to run the office and most senior positions remain unfilled.

NASA:

The space agency’s $19.7 billion is $368 million more than last year. That new money helps increase funding for the Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle and the Space Launch System and the Europa and Mars missions.

NIH:

No cuts here. The bill would provide a $2 billion increase for NIH, bringing the agency’s budget to $34 billion this year. The funding is to be used, in part, for research into Alzheimer’s disease, antibiotic resistance, brain studies and the development of new treatments and cures.

OFFICIAL PORTRAITS:

The bill once again bans federal money from being used to paint the official portrait of any federal government official, including the president, vice president, lawmakers, Cabinet secretaries and other top agency officials.

In recent years, the official portraits of top government officials have been paid for with money raised privately.

OPIOID ADDICTION:

A big spending increase here is seen as one of the biggest bipartisan victories in the bill. There’s $103 million specifically for opioid addiction reduction in addition to a $130.5 million increase for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration. It includes $30 million more for the Mental Health Block Grant, which helps states fund mental health programs for low income people.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD:

Democrats successfully blocked a GOP request to bar Planned Parenthood from receiving any federal funding. The women’s health group will continue to have access to that money through the end of the fiscal year in September. Federal money accounts for about 40 percent of Planned Parenthood’s overall budget, with most of that money reimbursing the organization for the treatment of patients on Medicaid.

POSTAL SERVICE:

The bill prohibits the nation’s mail delivery system from consolidating or closing “small rural and other small post offices.”

PUERTO RICO:

The island commonwealth is expected to fall short this year on reimbursements to Medicaid. The spending bill includes $295 million to help fill the gap.

PUBLIC BROADCASTING:

Elmo and Peter Sagal, breathe easy: Congress didn’t make any cuts to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, the agency that helps fund programming on NPR and PBS.

SCHOOL LUNCH PROGRAM:

The new spending agreement ends a program championed by the former first lady to combat childhood obesity that forced changes in school lunches served to about 31 million children. Republicans say the legislation “stops an Obama-era school meal regulation” and that doing so provides “flexibility for whole grains and milk and preventing changes to sodium standards that have not been fully scientifically vetted.”

The changes caused schools to begin serving more milk, whole grain-rich foods, and a variety of fruits and vegetables, plus limit the amounts of calories, trans-fats and salt that kids get in cafeterias. But a powerful school lunch industry group withdrew its support for the program, saying the new standards were expensive and unpopular with students.

Democrats noted that the bill allows school districts to continue the Obama-era regulations if they choose to do so. The bill also bars the use of poultry from China in USDA-backed school lunch programs.

SECURITY FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP:

The spending bill includes $61 million in money to help pay back local law enforcement agencies for protecting Trump in the six months since he was elected. Any agency that provided protection to the president can apply for the reimbursement, but the majority of the funds are expected to be used by officials that protect Trump Tower in New York and the president’s Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Fla.

Lawmakers also added $131 million for the U.S. Secret Service, to help keep up with increased deployments to help protect the president’s extended family.

SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION:

The quasi-government agency that runs the museums along the Mall in Washington would get a small $23 million increase.

VISAS:

The bill includes at least two more years of funding to dole out 2,500 special immigrant visas for Afghans who were employed by ISAF or the U.S. government in Afghanistan since military operations began there in 2001.

WILDFIRES:

Lawmakers from Western states secured $407 million in emergency funding to help fight wildfires this year.

Karoun Demirjian and Sarah Kaplan contributed to this report.

Clockwise from top left: Hasan Minhaj performs at the dinner; Lester Bowser, Christopher Metzler and April Ryan at the MSNBC after-party; Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein at the dinner; and the crowd at the dinner. (Jonathan Ernst/Reuters; Kate Patterson for The Washington Post; Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post; Marvin Joseph)

His voters sent him to Washington to break stuff, and this weekend Donald Trump tried to break the annual dinner of the White House Correspondents’ Association. As with some of his business ventures, he was not wholly successful.

“They’re trapped at the dinner,” the president boomed at a rally in Harrisburg, Pa., celebrating his first 100 days in office. “Which will be very, very boring.”

Instead, it was just fine. It happened. There’s an inertia to these Washington traditions, and a determination to soldier on in the face of — whatever it is we’re facing. Everyone survived this weekend without the president, or without the crush of Hollywood celebrities who for years had been decorating the dinner in ever-increasing density, until now.

It was a bit like an off-year high school reunion: diminished numbers and fewer crazy stories but still no shortage of hors d’oeuvres and dancing and gossip. Everyone settled for sightings of Michael Steele and Debbie Dingell instead of Jon Hamm or a Kardashian. In past years, virtually the entire cast of “Modern Family” would come to the dinner; this year, United Talent Agency only secured the kid who plays Luke.

[‘We are not fake news’: At a Trump-free correspondents’ dinner, White House press has its say.]

“This is the way it used to be, way back when,” said veteran PR maven Janet Donovan at a Saturday morning brunch held under a white tent at the Georgetown home of hotelier Connie Milstein. This year there was actually room to mingle without toppling a stick-thin starlet. There were no Silicon Valley entrepreneurs monologuing at the bloody mary bar.

A coterie of Fox journalists pose for a group shot on arriving. The red carpet, typically filled by Hollywood celebrities, was ceded to broadcast news stars this year. (Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post)

The crowd mingling at an after-party sponsored by NBC and MSNBC at the Organization of American States. (Kate Patterson/for The Washington Post)

[Last year’s White House Correspondents’ after-party scene: It’s not a party without Joe Biden]

The dinner itself featured a dutiful pep talk by Watergate legends Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein.

“Mr. President, the media is not fake news,” Woodward said from the dais, and the media elite applauded.

“CNN and MSNBC are fake news,” Trump said in Pennsylvania, and some of the 97 percent who say they’d still vote for him applauded.

Two worlds, talking past each other, from 100 miles apart. The latest prime-time iteration of POTUS vs. Beltway.

But look! There was one emissary of Trump’s inner circle hitting the circuit in Washington, and a Cabinet member at that. On Friday evening, Defense Secretary Jim Mattis mingled under a poolside tent at the home of Atlantic owner David Bradley. On the menu: beef tenderloin and North Korea’s latest ballistic missile test.

Nicolle Wallace, Noah Oppenheim, and Chris Matthews at the NBC- MSNBC party. (Kate Patterson/for The Washington Post)
From left, journalists Jon Decker and Will Rabbe with comedian Seth Herzog at the same event. (Kate Patterson/for The Washington Post)

While Trump headed out of town, his opponents retrenched. Tens of thousands of protesters had clogged Pennsylvania Avenue in the disgusting midday heat to raise alarm about global warming. Comedian Samantha Bee, one of Trump’s fiercest critics, staged a rogue event for the younger crowd at DAR Constitution Hall titled “Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.”

“As much as I love poking at the media,” Bee said, addressing journalists, “I know your job has never been harder: You basically get paid to stand in a cage while a geriatric orangutan gets to scream at you. It’s like a reverse zoo.”

After Bee’s event, an elite slice of her audience took over the rooftop of the W Hotel, with its clear view of the snipers atop the White House, and ate brie sliders and creme-brulee doughnuts. “Trump is like a flashlight shining into dark corners and all the cockroaches are coming out,” said actress Chloe Bennett, of the ABC series “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

[Hasan Minhaj’s harshest burns at the White House correspondents’ dinner]

A few poor souls held signs supporting the media outside the Hilton. “Keep up the good work,” said one. Inside, after Woodward and Bernstein’s civics lesson on the free press, “Daily Show” correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not spare the absentee president in his keynote roast.

“The leader of our country is not here,” Minhaj said. “That’s because he lives in Moscow. It’s a very long flight. . . . As for the other guy, I think he’s in Pennsylvania, because he can’t take a joke.”

What counted for starpower this year: Actor Matthew Modine. . . (Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post)
. . . and former Secretary of State Madeline Albright. (Marvin Joseph/The Washington Post)

[The single best joke told by every president, from Obama to Washington]

As Saturday turned into Sunday, TV journalists and professional pundits began to ascend a grand staircase to the gorgeous salon of the Organization of American States on 17th Street near the Mall. This was NBC and MSNBC’s after-party, so the boldfaced names were almost exclusively on-air talent: Dana Bash, Don Lemon, Chris Matthews, Thomas Roberts, Nicolle Wallace. Crystal chandeliers hung over arching palm trees and white-jacketed servers passed iceberg salad bites and tiny takeout boxes of General Tso’s chicken.

Back at the Hilton, though, a less-exclusive after-party, sponsored by Thomson-Reuters, was packed to the gills and vibrating with energy, without a single famous face. It was vintage Nerd Prom — couples awkwardly dancing to Wham! while juggling their martini glasses. Journalism survived to drink another day, and so did this party, for now anyway.

Staff writers Emily Heil, Elahe Izadi, Maura Judkis, Ellen McCarthy, Lavanya Ramanathan, Roxanne Roberts, Margaret Sullivan and Ben Terris contributed to this report.